Humor for your day…

I am slogging through all my emails that I neglected while planning the carnival and I just had to share this one as the comments really made me laugh.  I hope you enjoy them as well!

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) —
‘Do not turn upside down.’
(well,…duh, a bit late, huh!)
   ==========================
On Sainsbury’s peanuts —
‘Warning: contains nuts.’
(talk about a news flash)
    ===========================
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine —
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.’
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
   ==========================
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding —
‘Product will be hot after heating.’
(…and you thought????…)
=======================
On a Sears hairdryer —
Do not use while sleeping.
 (That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
   ====================================
On a bag of Fritos —
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
   ===========================
On a bar of Dial soap —
‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’
(and that would be???….)
  ============================
On some Swanson frozen dinners —
‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’
(but, it’s just a suggestion.)
========================
On packaging for a Rowenta iron —
‘Do not iron clothes on body.’
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)
==============================
On Nytol Sleep Aid —
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’
(..I’m taking this because???…..)
   ==============================
On most brands of Christmas lights —
‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’
(as opposed to what?)
   ==========================
On a Japanese food processor —
‘Not to be used for the other use.’
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
   ==============================
On an American Airlines packet of nuts —
‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’
(Step 3: say what?)
   ===========================
On a child’s Superman costume —
‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
  ========================
On a Swedish chainsaw —
‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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About emilypage

I have been married to my husband, Ed since 1998. We have two daughters, Hailey (9) and Leah (6). I have been the Director of Easter Seals UCP Stepping Stones Children's Center in Sanford since 2004. I am an Independent Senior Director for Thirty-One and I absolutely LOVE it! I was raised as a Wolfpacker but saw the light and now I bleed Carolina blue (sorry, dad).
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3 Responses to Humor for your day…

  1. dunn254 says:

    And what’s really really really sad is that you know that out there somewhere is so poor eunuch who got that way by trying to stop the chainsaw.

  2. Kim says:

    These are so funny — until you stop to think that the companies have to resort to saying these things because some idiot somewhere sued the company for their own stupidity — like the lady who sued McDonalds because she spilled hot coffee in her lap and was surprised that it burned her!!! Duh!!!!

  3. Heidi says:

    I love it when things like Peanut Butter are labeled “contains peanuts”. Seriously???? 🙂

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