Hailey’s week did not start off well last week.  We traded notes with her teacher and spent a lot of time talking to her about her behavior.  She ended the week on a much better note and with her teacher starting to challenge her more, we were daring to hope that she would start listening more and talking less.

We had a good weekend.  We went to Paint in the Park on Saturday and Hailey painted her granddaddy a picture for his birthday.  She was on her best behavior at my parents’ house and even ate her dinner without complaints.  Last night she did a great job of helping me clean and practiced her reading and second grade words without a problem. 

When I arrived at the Y today, I found Hailey sitting in the office.  Not a good sign.  I asked her why she was there and Megan told me she had been hitting.  I asked Hailey about this and she would not say a word to me.  A lot of parents were coming in at this time and needed to get to the sign-out sheet where I was standing so I told her to go get her stuff and I stepped over to talk to Brenda.

Brenda informed me that Hailey was not the same Hailey that started at the Y.  She said she was not listening to the counselors at all.  They would tell her to do something and she would do the complete opposite.  Not only did she hit a child on Friday, but she punched a child in the stomach multiple times in the bathroom today.  WHAT??!!!

I told Brenda that Hailey had been getting in trouble in the classroom and that maybe she was trying so hard to follow the rules in class that by the time she made it to the Y, she was done with listening and following directions (please understand that I am not making excuses or saying this behavior is okay…just trying to understand where it is coming from).  I promised Brenda that we would talk to Hailey and asked that she please tell the counselors to keep me informed about Hailey’s behavior.

It was all I could do to hold myself together in the car on the way to dance class.  This is not how I have raised my child to behave and in no way do I find this behavior acceptable. I am at a point where I really don’t know what to do.  Talking to her does not help. No punishment really seems to faze her.

I had a real struggle as to whether or not to let her go to dance.  However, dance does require that she be quiet and follow directions and she obviously needs all the help she can get.  Besides, her recital is in a few weeks and her teacher has worked hard.  I did not feel it was fair to her teacher and the other children to have Hailey ill prepared for her part in the recital.

I am going to call our EAP and see if they have any resources in this area.  I need to talk to a professional and I would like for Hailey to talk to a professional.  Our family cannot continue to live with this roller coaster of behavior.  Hailey can be the sweetest, most helpful, loving, caring, creative, and fun child…and then she can be defiant and mean. 

If any of you have words of wisdom, I would love to hear them!

About emilypage

I have been married to my husband, Ed since 1998. We have two daughters, Hailey (9) and Leah (6). I have been the Director of Easter Seals UCP Stepping Stones Children's Center in Sanford since 2004. I am an Independent Senior Director for Thirty-One and I absolutely LOVE it! I was raised as a Wolfpacker but saw the light and now I bleed Carolina blue (sorry, dad).
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One Response to Heartbroken

  1. M W says:

    Definitely look at counseling, for both her and the rest of the family. I know that Jackson’s behavior has improved via OT, but a lot of his misbehavior is rooted in his SPD and not being able to deal with all of the sensory input he experiences. He’s learning to handle it better, but we definitely still have our moments. If she can open up to someone about why she feels like she needs to act out (attention, boredom, anger, etc.) maybe therapy can help you work towards solutions to help her deal with how she’s feeling? It’s worth a shot. So sorry you’re dealing with this!

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