I hate this time of year. Budget time. When I am at work, constant interruptions makes it difficult to concentrate on my budget. When I am at home, my kids make it even more difficult. Leah wants to snuggle, Hailey either wants to read what I am working on over my shoulder or give me a picture every 2 minutes (seriously, my living room floor is covered at the moment by about 20 large pieces of paper covered in everything from rainbows to portraits of me).
I WANT to snuggle, I WANT to ooh and aah over every carefully colored picture. I WANT to sit on the floor and play a game. The problem is, after a long day at work, it is too easy to get frustrated with my girls when I am trying to get work done.
I tried to explain to them on the way home that I had to get back to my work as soon as we got home because I was staying home with them all of next week and had to have my work done before then. I told them we would do all kids of fun things next week, but that they had to let me get through the next few days first. Why I try to reason with a 5 and 2 year-old is beyond me.
At one point tonight, Hailey was asking me how to spell “birthday” and I got snappy with her and told her to sound it out and spell it herself because I really had to work. It is a sign of how focused I was on my budget that I did not even make the connection until she brought me a handmade card and told me “Happy Birthday, Mommy” (my birthday is Saturday). Yeah, I felt like a heel. The front says “To Mom” and the inside says “I love you. You love me. You are nice.” What is missing? “Happy Birthday”…because I couldn’t take the time to spell “birthday” for her. sigh.
I know I am not a bad mom, but there are certainly plenty of times where I realize I am not always the mom I want to be. I have tried really, really hard to not work at all on the weekends lately and I am going to try just as hard (after the budget is done, of course!) to not bring work home or to only tackle it after the girls are in bed.
Hopefully I can plan a fabulous week for them next week that will help us all to forget how grouchy I have been this week. Only 2 more work days until Spring Break!